Cake of Doom
by Ryoko of the Ink
Summary: In which Sasuke has some fun with cake Naruto gets more then he bargained for. Involves yaoi, rainbows, cakes, rapid fan girls, tickle fights.[SasuNaru][YAOI]


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did then there would be so much more Yaoi and yummyness.

Summary: In which Sasuke gets cake and Naruto gets a headache. Involves rainbows cakes, rapid fan girls, tickle fights, and yaoi.

Paring: SasuNaru (what else)

Point of view: Naru-chan's of course

* * *

Cake of Doom

"Sasuke just eat the God-damned cake." I whined pushing the vanilla iced baked good toward Sasuke's mouth. Yet, said mouth stubbornly remained closed.

It was the twenty-third of July and you know what that means Sasuke's birthday. So being Sasuke's best friend…wait is it rival…what is it? Oh whatever. It was my solemn duty to make Sasuke celebrate the day of his birth. Or die trying; hopefully it won't come to that though.

Early this morning I awoke and set of on my quest. My quest to make Sasuke a birthday cake. Why cake? Because cake is almost as good as ramen and after all what is a birthday without cake? Nothing I tell you, nothing. So as I previously mentioned it was my duty as best friend rival thingy to get said cake.

Now, obtaining the cake was hard. I couldn't bake it. Why you might ask? Oh, I shall tell you. I can't cook. I can't even make scrambled eggs. Why do you think I eat ramen constantly? So I did the next best thing. I got Iruka to bake one.

Hey, it's the thought that counts. So what if someone else made it. At least I had the thought to bring it and that's what matters, believe it.

So after I got up I ran over to Iruka's, ingredients clutched safely in my arms. Hey, I'm thoughtful; I'm not going to make Iruka-sensei do all the work. Just most of it. Heh.

When arriving at Iruka-sensei's I did the only sensible thing to get him up. Banged on the door as hard as I could.

Soon I was met with a disgruntled Iruka. "What's the emergency," he said quickly looking side to side in fright, and then apparently, he saw me. Iruka looked different. He didn't look as he normally did. The Iruka sensei I know is always neat and proper. Yet, here he was hair a mess, clothing rumpled, and out of breath. Was he training?

"What do you want Naruto…" he gave an exasperated sigh.

Hey, he could have been more excited to see me. I mean I'm Naruto Uzumaki, future hokage, loved and worshiped by all, and most powerful ninja ever. Okay so the last two weren't true, but I am so going to be future hokage. Well, anyway, back to Iruka-sensei.

"I need you to bake me a cake."

"Wh-what…?" came his stuttered reply as he looked at me with disbelief.

What. How could he say _what_. What was there to understand? I need you to bake me a cake. Nothing was particularly difficult in that sentence. And Sasuke calls me a dobe.

"Can you _please _make me a cake? I even have the ingredients" I pushed the ingredients into his view and gave my best smile. How could he possibly resist that?

"A…wha….You know what, fine, I'm not going to ask." He shook his head as if in doubt with himself. Then gave me a nod with his head as if to come in. My smile worked, I knew it would. Never doubt the smile of a Uzumaki.

I rushed passed Iruka's sensei into his kitchen and set the ingredients down on the counter and waited for him to come and start baking. Sasuke's birthday was wearing down and I wasn't there to make him celebrate. I know he wouldn't celebrate it by himself. Sasuke's like that. Seriously, it has taken me five years to get some emotion out of him. I would call myself a Sasuke expert by now, and knowing him he's probably all by himself in his room obsessing over training or _avenging his clan_ or something like that.

Where was Iruka sensei? Does it really take ten minuets to walk from the front door to the kitchen? I think not. So in a effort to increase his obviously slow speed I called out to him.

"Be right there Naruto," he called back. Wait…was that another voice I just heard. Nah, must be imagining things.

I tried to wait, I really did. But, you don't know how hard it is to sit in one place for me. So I decided that I should at least start the cake batter. At least until Iruka-sensei gets there. See how nice I am. Yet, where to start. Cakes start with flour right?

Where did I put that bag of flour? Quickly rummaging through the bags I brought I found the bag of white powder. Then I sought to open it. Placing my hands on either side of the bag, I gave a quick pull. What I didn't expect to happen was for the bag to burst open like a bomb sending the white substance all over Iruka-sensei's kitchen.

Looking back on it now, not so great of a idea. Even I can admit to that. At the sound of the newly entitled bag bomb on doom Iruka rushed into the kitchen. His dark eyes flashing "Naruto" he said menacingly. "Yes," I replied quickly trying to hide behind one of the kitchen chairs.

"Go into the living room Naruto," he said gazing down fists clenched in apparent anger.

"What?" I said suddenly even more scared, "You're not mad?" Clutching my chair for support from Iruka's sure to come onslaught of anger.

"Oh…I'm mad, but you want cake and you're going to get the cake."

"Okay Iruka-sensei." I replied quickly and ran like hell into the living room. What was he going to do to me? I mean, it was an accident. I didn't want to turn his kitchen into a white wonderland. Millions of scenarios rushed through my mind as I sat down onto the couch in Iruka-sensei's living room.

Man, this couch is comfortable. Hey, if I am going to die from Iruka-sensei's wrath I might as well be comfortable. So I lay there resting, at least I was until something on the table in front of me caught my eye. A little orange book. NOOO. It must be a mistake. Iruka-sensei wouldn't have that book. Right? RIGHT? He's good and pure. Nothing at all like Kakashi-sensei and the old pervert. It must be a book that just looks like Make Out Paradise. Yea.

I needed to confirm my fears. Slowly I crept towards the table in a effort to get close enough to read the title. Sure enough, there it was in black and white. Make out Paradise: Yaoi Edition. "Why, Iruka, why?" I said aloud, throwing my arms into the air, as I cursed in my agony.

"Naruto, is everything alright?" Iruka's worried tone came from the kitchen.

"Yes Iruka-sensei," I quickly scrambled onto the couch, "everything is fine." No everything was not fine. Iruka-sensei my ramen buyer, the first person to acknowledge me, the sensei I could come to for everything, was a super pervert.

Now, I know Iruka wouldn't have done this on his own. He must have been influenced, but by who? He's not in contract with the pervert-sensei enough to get it from him. It must be Kakashi-sensei. Oh, that masked man was going to get it. First, he shoved his fingers up my ass, then he's late for everything, and now he's turned Iruka sensei into a super pervert. Oh, he's going to pay. A evil grin appeared on my face as I imagined all of the things I could do to Kakashi-sensei.

"Naruto, cakes done." Iruka-sensei's voice snapped me out of my reverie and I rushed into the kitchen. Iruka-sensei was standing there white apron on and covered with flour.

"I'm just done frosting it," Iruka gestured over to the cake, "now do you want it to say anything." He smirked at me. How does he know?

"Um…happy birthday Sasuke," I quietly mumbled. I felt heat rushing to my face. Was I blushing? Noo… I'm Naruto Uzumaki manliest man ever and manly men do not blush. So I wasn't blushing. Got that?

"What was that Naruto?" Iruka-sensei questioned nudging me in the shoulder. Is his smirk becoming bigger? He heard me the first time, I know he heard me. Great, so now, Iruka-sensei was evil and a pervert.

"Happy birthday Sasuke," I screamed. God, do people live to embarrass me.

"It's Sasuke-kun's birthday?" I quickly nodded to Iruka's question. Then something I didn't expect happened. Iruka hugged me. There was the Iruka-sensei I knew. "That's so kind of you Naruto, to do that for your friend."

Damn, the heat rushed up to my face again. I refuse to admit it was a blush, refuse. I pushed against Iruka to free myself from the embrace. "Can you write it on the cake?"

"Of course Naruto. You are so nice to do this for Sasuke. Maybe you'll get a smile out of him." With that, he turned and started to pipe on the phrase all the while saying things about friendship and what a cute bond that Sasuke and I have. Cute, his words not mine.

"All done Naruto." He handed the cake to me. Oh my god. Yes, he put "Happy Birthday Sasuke" on the cake but he also added rainbows. How manly were rainbows? The answer, they arn't. This was supposed to be a manly cake. Representing the bond between Sasuke and I. Oh that sounded corny. Forget it wipe it from your memory I tell you.

"Thank you Iruka-sensei," I said happily and left Iruka-sensei's abode as quickly as I could. Iruka-sensei was starting to scare me.

So with the cake clutched safely in my arms I set off to Sasuke's house. Yet, when I got there the sight before me stopped me in my tracks. Surrounded Sasuke's door were hundreds of girls, I kid you not, and a few guys. And at the head of the mob were two girls pounding on Sasuke's door. Wait was that Sakura-chan and… Ino?

"Sasuke-kun come out." Sakura shouted as she pounded on Sasuke's door. "Yea," Ino agreed, "listen to forehead girl and come out. We want to give you our gifts." She gave the biggest smile I have ever seen. How could she stretch her cheeks out like that? Also, did she expect Sasuke to be able to see through the door. I must admit Sasuke is strong, but he's no superman.

"Ino-pig," Sakura glared at Ino her fist raised, "we both agreed that the name calling would wait until after we gave Sasuke-kun our gifts."

"Oh, but you are simply too easy to get all fired up forehead girl." Ino replied casually tossing her long blonde bang behind her shoulder.

"Why you…PIG," Sakura screamed at Ino.

"FOREHEAD."

"PIG."

"FOREHEAD."

Okay as amusing as it was to see the too girls fight it out. I had to stop them. After all, I was their friend. Yea….

"Sakura-chan, Ino-chan" I called out to them. Suddenly their glares were on me. "WHAT?" They screamed. Wait what did I do?

"What are you guys doing?" I asked trying to be as nonchalant as possible, hiding the cake behind my back.

"Isn't it obvious," Sakura started, hands clutching a gift wrapped in pink paper covered with a big bow. Oh Sasukes going to _love_ that. "We're here for Sasuke-kun's birthday. Isn't that right everyone?" She gestured out to the crowd and was meet with a resounding "YES" from the crowd goers.

What was so attractive about Sasuke that he lured guys and girls into his clutches? Was it the dark ebony hair that always seemed to be styled in a perfect manner? Or was it the dark piercing eyes that seemed to glare into your soul? Or was it the milk white skin that begged people to touch it? Damn it there's that heat in my face again. Wait I'm getting off track.

So why did all these people flock to Sasuke. He never responded to any of them. At least not from what I've seen and we are together most of the time. Did Sasuke have a secret life I didn't know about? Nah. Ino's voice snapped me out of my observations. This was happening a lot today.

"Forehead's right Naruto, but what are you doing here." Ino gave me a questioning look. What was so suspicious about me being here?

"Um…I'm here to ask Sasuke to… go training. Yea, I'm here to ask Sasuke to go training." I said in a confident tone. That was convincing enough.

"Then what's behind your back." Damn Sakura-chan and her observation skills. Why the hell did she have to notice everything?

"Um…weapons." A marvelous answer if I do say so myself. I gave myself a mental pat on the back.

"Really," Sakura asked.

"Really," I said trying to sound confident. Trying to conceal the cake even farther behind my back. "Now I really have to go. Bye Sakura-chan, bye Ino," and with that I turned my tail and ran.

"WAIT" Sakura-chan called out. But, I couldn't go back. I was still on my quest. My get Sasuke a cake/celebrate his birthday with him quest. And, Damn I am going to complete my quest. Yet, another problem now faced me. I couldn't enter Sasuke's house in the normal way, i.e. the door. So now, I had to find another way of entrance. Then it hit me, the window.

Why didn't it come to me sooner? I'm a ninja and as a ninja, I have awesome ninja powers. Climbing up a wall and breaking in to the window is child's play. With the cake held tightly in both of my hands I proceeded to climb up the wall, using only my feet. My awesomeness knows no ends.

Well, that was easy. Now the window. Placing the cake in one hand, I proceeded to open the window. Well I should rephrase that, I tried to open the window, but the damn thing was stuck. I already know that everyone was out prevent me from getting Sasuke this cake, but inanimate objects too? Damn, the world hates me. I tried to open the window one last time, yet before I was able to open the damn thing, a pale face glared at me from the other side.

I almost dropped the cake. I wasn't afraid…well maybe I was, a little bit. No telling anyone got that. Especially Sasuke, he would never let me live it down.

"Dobe, what are you doing on the side of my house," I really can't tell what the look on Sasuke's face was. I think it was a mixture of awe and disgust. A truly strange combination if you ask me.

"Why Sasuke, aren't you going to let me in?"

"Give me a reason why I should dobe"

"Well," I started an evil smirk beginning to form on my face. "I could just tell that mob at your door that they could climb through this here window…"

A look of shock crossed Sasuke's face. "Come in now dobe and close the window behind you."

"I knew you would see things my way _Sasuke-kun,_" I said trying to imitate his fan girls and apparently some boys too, and with that, I climbed inside his home. Cake safely in my arms. I wasn't about to drop it now that I've gone through hell to get it here.

"What's in your arms Naruto?" Sasuke asked peering at the cake questioningly.

"It's for you. Happy Birthday Sasuke." I said placing the cake in his arms, grinning widely. Then I stood back to gauge his reaction.

His face was one of unnatural calm. "Hn…" he said placing the cake on a nearby table.

_Hn_ what the fuck does he mean _hn. _I went through literal hell to get that cake here. Facing white bombs of doom, a bi-polar Iruka-sensei, fan girls, and a demonic window to get that cake here. And all he can say is fucking hn. To say I was mad was an understatement. I was fucking pissed.

"I don't like sweet things." He said apparently seeing the anger on my face.

Doesn't like sweet things! Who doesn't like cake? Everyone loves cake. Even cake with rainbows on it. You know what I don't give fuck that _he doesn't like sweet things_. He's going to eat this cake and he's going to enjoy every last morsel of it. Every last morsel.

Which leads me to where we started off. Cake on my fingers trying to force it into an unwilling mouth. In my effort to force-feed Sasuke the yummy baked good, I had crawled into his lap to get more leverage. Sadly it didn't work and only increased Sasuke's stubbornness.

"Damn it Sasuke just eat the cake." His mouth continuing to remain closed. "Sasuke, just try the cake I'm sure you'll like it." My hand, the one without cake, drifted to his stomach. I don't know why, my arm has a mind of its own.

As my arm graced Sasuke's stomach, I felt the ebony-haired boy beneath me tense up. This is it my chance. Would you believe it, Sasuke the ice-prick Uchiha is ticklish. Using my newfound knowledge I proceeded to moved my hand gently in a ticklish manner across Sasuke's stomach. Gradually increasing the tickling pressure over time.

Sasuke was turning blue. I know he was holding it in. Come on Sasuke… laugh…laugh. Apparently, my hand had wandered to a particularly ticklish because Sasuke was now turning purple. Then like a mighty explosion, great now I sound like Lee, Sasuke burst out laughing.

Seizing my chance I plunged my cake-covered fingers into Sasuke's now opened mouth. Sasuke I knew I would get you to eat the cake I knew it. Now to brag.

"Sasuke see everyone likes cake and it only took me the great Naru-" The next sentence I was about to utter died in my mouth.

Sasuke was sucking on my fingers and damn it felt good. Who knew Sasuke of all people could incite such feelings out of me by simply sucking my fingers. Then suddenly the sucking stopped. My body gave a twinge at the loss of pressure.

"Why Naruto-kun your right. Cake is good," he said gazing at me as though I was a piece of meat. "But I wonder was it the cake that tasted so good, or you."

What the fuck. "Sasuke…I'm just here to celebrate your birthday with you." I said crawling backwards, yet Sasuke's arms found their way around me and prevented my escape. His eyes boring into mine with a predatory glint.

"But, Naruto you can't just run away. After giving me that _delicious _appetizer. I must have the main course," he said in a seductive tone, pushing me down to the ground.

Did Iruka drug the cake? The Sasuke I know would never do this with a sound mind. Yes, that must be it. "Sasuke you really don't want to-"

A pair of lips crashed into mine breaking off anything else I was going to say. Just the feeling of Sasuke's lips moving on mine was enough to turn me into jelly. Just as I began to respond to the kiss, Sasuke stopped. God, why does he always stop when it gets good?

"You see Naruto," he began lifting me onto his lap so his eyes bore into mine. "I do want this," and with that he began to kiss me again. I responded to the best of my ability. Moving my lips upon his. How was I supposed to know what to do? My only other kiss was when someone pushed me into Sasuke at the academy, and that was hardly a kiss compared to this.

Sasuke's lips trailed downwards on my neck placing open-mouthed kisses and ohhhh. My hips thrust upwards as Sasuke reached a particularly sensitive point. Seeing my reaction, Sasuke paused and went to the same point, sucking and moving his tongue around in a circular motion.

I gripped Sasuke's back in an attempt to bring us closer together. I wanted to be closer to Sasuke. I would do _anything _to be closer. To feel his body against mine. These damn clothes though, always getting in the way. Another object to add to my list of things being destroyed.

Sasuke apparently done with his onslaught on my neck moved back to my lips and began to nip at my bottom lip. I moaned, yes I admit I moaned. The feelings Sasuke was making my body feel was…heavenly.

Sasuke began a pattern upon my lips, alternating between nipping and sucking and I must say I responded as well. Suddenly I felt a tongue move across my bottom lip as if begging to be let in. I opened my mouth in reply, how was I to say no to such a lovely request.

Sasuke's tongue plunged into my mouth and began to feel every space every crevice it could find and it felt so good. I began to suck on Sasukes tongue to get a response, any response from the normally stoic teen. I got one, Sasuke moaned. That's right you heard it moaned and I couldn't be happier. To celebrate my happiness I did an inner victory dance. Inappropriate for the moment I know, but hey, I am Naruto Uzumaki. I'm never normal.

Then Sasuke pulled back from my face and cupped my cheek with his hand. His face flushed and a small smile on his utterly kissed lips, it was a sight worthy to be in any museum. I now know why Sasuke has so many fan girls and boys. He's gorgeous, yup no more denial from me. Sasuke is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. So what if I sound corny, everyone has the right to be sometime.

Sasuke removed his hand from my cheek and moved his forehead to rest against mine. "Naruto…," he began embracing me in a hug.

"Yes," I murmured breathlessly. Oh, god I was begging to sound like some _girl._ You know what? I don't care anymore. It's Sasuke and if it's Sasuke it's okay for me to be like this. Now you tell anyone and, you die. Plain and simple. A slow painful death.

"You taste like cake…," Yes Sasuke I lo-… wait a minuet.

_What the fuck?!_

* * *

A/N: Well my first SasuNaru fanfic. I have no idea what mind I was in when I wrote this, but I think it turned out well. Might be a lemon later on if enough people like it. Remember reviews are loved. Also Critque is welcomed, but flames will be used to keep me warm.

Also I am looking for a beta for future stories so just send a pm if you want to be one,


End file.
